JUST PURE RELIEF

I have finally finished one of my last national exam ever, not today, but on monday, was too lazy to blog then.

Anyway, after physics MCQ, part of the hall, expectedly went crazy and started cheering the end of exams. Sad to say, I wasn’t part of them, because I wasn’t exactly as estastic and happy as some of the peeps were. I guess we were all just relieved, or at least me. NO more chionging, no more burning midnight oil, no more hair-grabbing frustrated moments. Relief is the word that perfectly described my mood then.

After that we went mahjonging at gx’s house and I suffered a great loss of like 6bucks?! and I decided to halt the game before I lose more money hahaha. The other table was.. haha much more hiong. Pretty impressed with their stamina, though it’s nothing compared to those 3days3nights kind of mahjong marathon I have heard of.

Oh yes here’s the main part that spurred me to blog today. I went to kumon ytd, and while having briefing, this kiddo very very very unfortunately for ME, regurgitated on me?!!!!!!!!! On my back =.= I was disgustingly horrified ok! I didn’t really got angry haha just ya know EWWWW. But ohwells, poor kid and poor me. He didn’t literally vomitted on me? But his vomit felt like raindrops landing on my back. Warm and stinky raindrops. ERHH. It was ultimate gross. Thank god there was an extra shirt at kumon, or I would be… you know. But for the entire session I felt like I stinked though the others say it’s psychological. Haha perhaps.

Alrights, off to bed. Hope they contact me soon Woohoo I am on my way to fulfilling my childhood dream. IF they contact me. PLS PLS PLS call me!

STUMPED.STUNNED.STUPOR.

Life isn’t a bed of roses,certainly not for me.

And definitely not for my juniors and all the poor kids intenting to enter JC next time. Haha because A level’s is getting more and more difficult, well at least for me. You know sometimes you think this and this will confirm come out, like since the school placed so much emphasis on those topics. But no, Cambridge happily dropped an atomic bomb on us. NIA? circular flow!? WTH WTH WTH. Kind of expected like policies, inflation!? I was so ready to to take on inflation essays. Argh imagine my horror, and how stunned I was when I saw the essays topics. Micro was equally bad, and I still can’t get over the fact that I chose some stupid dumb 25marks dd/ss/elasticity qns. The anxiety and gan-jeongness just kept building up.

This was what exactly went through my mind throughout the whole econs paper 2, from the moment I sat down till when I placed my pen down:

*stares hard at qns paper, hoping that I can look through the paper to see the qns, but obviously I couldn’t. * Hope what I studied come out. Pls let me see inflation, effects of globalisation,MF. *flips paper and read carefully* STUNNED. oh damn this is difficult, oh die ler never mug this, ah this can’t do,oh gosh I didn’t think this will come out!? AHHH this can’t be happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okie dun panic, grab the pencil, maybe ideas will flow…Oh man why can’t I draft a single essay? Shit, no time to write my 3rd essay, die ler I dunno what else to write, crap I dunno which dumb essay to choose cos I have problem with every one!? This can’t be happening to me! It’s the A levels! It’s not prelims or CTs that I just need to pass! AH heck just choose one, no time to think!!!!!! What freaking theories can I throw in!? Darn I know I am writing nonsense but I can’t stop. Just fill up the paper! faster faster faster write faster!  Ah dratz time’s up. GG ler. Die die. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME!!???

 And that was the horrible experience and turmoil I went through for the whole 2 hours and 15minutes. Honestly, the only essay that made sense to me was MF. The rest that I wrote is crap and I think I kept repeating myself.Essay was BAD. I just hope case study today will pull up my marks PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS.  Crappola canbridge, why can’t they just give the topics they usually do and let us have a piece of mind, and let our pens flow. The fact that I mugged so much, stored so much info in my brains, hoping to unleash them during essays made it even more tragic. I just felt like killing myself the moment I realise I am not going to ace the essay paper. Or at least complete the paper on a satistified note, but then again, which paper had been satisfying? There’s always this and that which went wrong.

Maybe it’s because I didn’t study enough. But certainly for econs p2 it was %#&%^&*$%&(*^$* .Ya know BAD.  I guess the other papers for this week were fine. Definitely 1000times better than econs. I hereby declare that ECONS H2 A LEVEL P2 has been the worst exam I have ever taken. Plus, it’s A levels. It’s different from CTs where you can fail and whine and complain but nothing as large-scale as affecting your life will happen.  Dratz I shall stop my complains about Econs here and go emo one corner. At the same time pray really hard that P1 today pulls up the marks big time. But my expectation for econs has fallen. Guess we shouldn’t be living in self-denial all the time.

Anyways my com is getting really messed up. It starts up at a terribly slow speed and getting into the internet is worst. I spent 20minutes handling all the crap that happened. The only happy thing that’s happened is that I ate sakae with huimay,dict,varian and weiliangy today after paper. And we talked super alot of rubbish. And I koped alot of food

Haha alrights sorry for the extra heavy dose of crap/shit/darn and whatever “bad” words I have used. Not expletives I supppose? Well, if you have read all the way down here, and read through all my nonsensical whining and blabbering, THANK YOU big time . Haha for spending your time reading my grouses. LOL. Right gonna hit the sack now and start mugging again tomorrow!

9 more days to freedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FAREWELL ‘09

Today’s officially the last day of school in VJC. Last day of official school in my whole life. Uni is less of a proper official school in my context. The concert was great esp the videos made and the teachers’ video, I was really touched I must say, the teachers really have great expectations of us. And I am going to give my best shot in this last month. The juniors housecomm skid was hilarious and surprisely Mr Chan’s speech was in fact, entertaining Though I didn’t really feel unusually upset,  I felt kind of strange because we will never be doing all these stuff again. No more school song, no more sitting like packed sardines in the hall, no more cheers … and lotsa crazy things we do in school. Then we had mass dance, and chionged off to CT session where we camwhored alot. And proceeded to the treehouse for further camwhoring. Come on, after all you never know when we S55 may be camwhoring together again… lol. Thanks sabrina a lot for her polaroids so cute!!!!!! We were all so awed by the instant camera. Haha like noobs.

After that some of us went to the airport for lunch and mugged abit of chem and math, but the saddest thing was that we were all not in the mood to study. So we left at around 6pm. And Huimay came up with the idea of going back Vj for the night open house and pretend to be sec4s. Most importantly, she wanna do mass dance haahah… LAST MASS DANCE. But we didn’t have time to go home and change so we decided to just return to school as Victorians. Had an awesome time doing all the mass dances though it was really hot. Imagine if we did it in the blazing sun, mind you we were doing it at 630ish pm.

I entered to igloo for the 2nd time in my whole VJ life haha later on, and realised how much I suck at XBOX because I totally couldn’t control the thing. So I gave up after 2 minutes.

For the past 2 years, VJC has really given me alot. Equal share of ups and downs, certainly more fun than I could ever had imagined, and of course more mental turmoils that I never thought I would encounter.The last challenge, the last hurdle, the A levels. I should try my very best, add very last drop of oil I have to end off this marvellous journey in VJ. MUG HARD, HAN YI.

33 MORE DAYS.

It’s officially 33 more days to the start of A levels! I feel more panicky and uneasy as the days pass. I don’t think I am prepared enough.I don’t think I have mugged enough to get desirable results.I don’t think I can survive through it. But I think I should stop right here. Because a wise old man, alright not that old haha, told me that whether I want it or not, I am definitely going to get past A levels. It’s is definitely going to come whether or not I am prepared for it. Yes that’s you gpk. So I am going to… stop all my negative thoughts and mug, chiong more papers.  Another wise old  man, ok not old but surely wise or smart told me as long as I know I have put in my best for A’s, that’s enough. That’s right, I am quite certain I haven’t put in all that I have got for prelims. I didn’t mug as hard as I did during O’s. 

I wanna thank you guys for believing in me and always encouraging me. For sharing with me all your past experiences with A levels THE MONSTER, how you didn’t do well for prelims and got an A eventually. I have heard of at least 3 of those experiences lol. THANK YOU for giving me hope! I will practise MORE papers hahha.

Anyway moving on, I wanted to use wordpress as a platform to really ask you to reflect on your attitude and behaviour but…Come to think of it, I shouldn’t be chiding or judging you here, or even as a person. I can’t bring myself to tell you this in person, but I just hope that you can change your attitude towards others. It’s not as if the whole world owes you something everytime something goes wrong in your life. And you are not the only one having problems, everyone is. It’s the way we choose to deal with it. Does it make you feel better when you dampen everyone else’s mood when you yourself is feeling down? And the least you could do is to show some respect towards others. No one is obliged to tolerate your behavior. We do it because we are your friends.

APPRECIATE.

ASK IRIS cheated me of 10cents today. And I am not happy. I was supposed to meet weisheng weiyang and chia for breakfast at bedok macs this morning at 8am and return to school at 9 for some talk. I don’t know why I actually agreed to fly all the way there lol. But anyway I thought I was early and decided to stay home and watch the show that kai burned for me for like 15minutes. But crappola I went out at the wrong time and the bus zoomed past. Roar. So I happily smsed IRIS because it was pretty reliable for the past few times I used it. And she replied 3 minutes. So I was pretty elated, but after 6 minutes…… So I freaking smsed again! Now she says 10minutes. What a capricious lady. So I made my decision to walk to parkway and take another bus instead. Oh and how nice, I missed 197 because I was too busy looking at the board to see which buses go to bedok interchange. Alright, in conclusion, I ended up taking 16 -.-””’ What a waste of my energy. RAHHHHH!

After the talk, gx varian sly gary ben hh and I went to cathay after getting pangsehed by alexa and huimay ate sushi and took an extremely long time to decide on what to watch. And I mean really long… And we finally decided on THE UGLY TRUTH. Pretty hilarious and wow. Then I zoomed zoomed to grandma’s place for dinner.

Ya know, I have been to grandma’s almost every week since forever. But today was one of the rare times that it was only me and her at the dinner table. Plus later on the maid joined us. But whilst eating, it really dawned on me that I should really really appreciate and spend time talking to her. Don’t get me wrong, I have always loved my grandma especially after my other grandma passed on( it’s complicated, I have 2 grandmas at my dad’s side). But I realised that every week that I have gone to her house, I just greeted her and ate dinner,talking more to my cousins or others more often than talking to her.  Not that I don’t talk to her, but because of the hokkien barrier, lol, I often have to get my mum or dad to translate some cheem words. However, today I was on my own, and she was asking me what I intend to study in uni and stuff. I was stumped. Because I didn’t know what business/finance and blah was in hokkien. I was literally doing direct chinese translation which she actually understood Oh and I secretly think that grandma knows angmo ok, I was telling the maid that I didn’t like the bitter vegetables thingy NOT bittergourd. And she actually understood and asked me if I said that. HAHAHA. Well, what can I say? So I have decided that I am going to try and talk to her as much as I can even though there’s the hokkien barrier.(to be honest, i think my hokkien is not bad alr) Then I went on thinking how fast time flies(as always), about 15 years ago, my grandma was feeding me dinner everyday. And how I entertained her and my other grandma with my weird/over the top/ hopefully cute enough story telling.I vaguely remember standing on the long bench and telling them some goat story… hahaha. Oh and how I went to the garden/field/whatever you call it, to pluck flowers and grass so I can “cook” food for all my “friends”. What a hallucinative kid I was.

At the time, I would have never imagined all that I have gone through and going through now. Everyday was zi-char day for… er… myself? And I played bowling with… yakult bottles. Right. Told you I was a lame kid. I think I am getting old. Because often out of nowhere, I start reminiscing. That happens when you get old right? Or maybe purely because I need some happy and innocent thoughts.

Alright we are getting back prelim results tomorrow. And I am so not looking forward. It sucks that you know you are on the chopping block.

It’s not that, it’s their attitudes.

SYMPHONY OF SNORES

Right now I am at my cousin’s place stoning at the com and skyping with fenie. Or rather skyping haha we are using the chat icon cos I am afraid of waking up anyone who’s snoozing away. How marvellous is it to be lying in the middle of snores? LOL I figure out that I wouldn’t be falling asleep anytime soon. Basically due to the orchestra of snores LOL. And it’s really fun doing silent skyping with fenie Haven’t talked to her for AGES. Well, her roomie is. WEIRD.

Right I am logging off now to stare into space. Dark dark space. Cos mummy is asking me to SLEEP. I am stressed. HAHA and I am scared that my grandma would wake up to pee haha and will be shocked to find me still awake. Since I can’t function that well under stress…  I shall be off to.. stare into space amidst the snores.

WAVES OF NOSTALGIA

It’s finally friday today! Yay finished 5 papers out of the 10. Chem P3 was horrendous, such a mentor turmoil trying to finish up the paper. Chem is seriously not my cup of tea. I really regret not sticking to my initial decision last year to not take chem as a subject. Anyway I can finally catch up on some sleep because I have been losing sleep for the past few days,worrying too much about econs/chem paper the next day. 4 hours of sleep a day is seriously not enough, especially when the brain needs to be at turbo mode for the whole day.

I was lying on the sofa yesterday, thinking about life (as usual,somehow I like to think about my life when I get bored). And boy, I realise I really miss TK and 3/9 ‘06, 4/9′07. I miss sitting at my own cosy seat at the side near the windows. Atiqah beside me, Siti in front of me, penny in front of siti, kailing diagonally behind me and alicia behind me. Life used to be so simple and happy. I miss the times when we chionged to the canteen to get food. I miss the times when we mugged A maths and Emaths prelim papers together. Even Mss Tee’s physics lessons, we were so paranoid and afraid that she will get us to answer her mind-blowing questions. If we kena stunned by her questions, she will stare so hard and drill an answer out of you. I miss the times when we laughed together at the weird things Miss Lee SN aka professor snape does during maths lessons. And her firecracker sounding mic. I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE school. Not saying that I hate school now, but kind of love school less. I have mentioned this many times i think. But somehow I always get hit by waves of nostalgia every now and then. I bet next year I would be reminiscing about VJ. I do love VJ. And I do love my class, well…a substantial number of them lol.

I was in school on tuesday, preparing to go into the library to spend my next 2 hours mugging for maths after econs paper when my junior saw me. She told me the exact thing I told my senior last year. “WAH the library very full hor! All the J2s mugging!”  How time flies yeah? A year has flown by! And we are taking our A’s in less than 1.5 months! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Something that I think is quite interesting and worth sharing koped from Aloy’s email:

“KEEP ONLY CHEERFUL FRIENDS. THE GROUCHES PULL YOU DOWN.”

Quite true right? LOL.

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A WEEK MORE.

There’s officially a week left to the start of prelims and I am already feeling drained and tired. I started panicking yesterday because I finally restarted on doing chem papers again and I realised I forgot some reactions/tests/chemicals/reagents/conditions/mechanisms and which all in all total up to wholly crap load of information. Don’t even get me started on physics and equations and definitions and another load nonsense of formulaes. Ah, and mr kwek didn’t even bother to reply the sms that we sent to him on friday about the speed of electron. Unless of course guoxiang happily forgot about it.

I am not ready. Not ready for a whole 2 weeks of prelims. I certainly do not have the confidence level I had 2 years ago which is terrible. And I no longer possess the highly soughted after skill of sitting down and mugging straight for hours. I feel so distressed and restless after like 1 hour. Mainly because I am so sick of flipping to the answers for every other question. ROAR and I still have a mountain of econs!!!!! OMG OMG OMG.

At this very moment when I am all stressed up, my neighbour is laughing his lungs out dunno over what. Pooh I wished I could laugh as heartily as him now.  Anyways I think I am getting more emotional nowadays cos I was watching some hongkong TVB show just now, and the dad in the show died. And I cried. haha I guess it’s the acting or just that I am a tad bit more emo than usual these days.

By the way, I openly declared my hatred towards daniel on facebook because I HATE HIM. for torturing me with all his super tough and idiotic maths questions. I can freaking pull out all my hair. And finish my eraser while doing his maths. ROARRRRRRRRRR. okay I think my half hour of slacking is up. I should get back to more dreaded mugging. Imagine me sprawling on the table with a perma pissed off look. That’s how I look when I am so called mugging. Drats.

And I have maths tuition tonight.With daniel. GREAT.

QUIT SMOKING

No no, do not be mistaken, I DO NOT smoke. 

I went out for lunch with mum just now, and while waiting for my food, which took unusually long due to the once again unusually huge crowd, I saw this huge sticker advertisement thingy on the table. QUIT SMOKING. BREATHE THROUGH YOUR STRAW TO FEEL HOW’S LIKE TO HAVE CHRONIC LUNG DISEASE or something like that. I just started wondering how smokers would feel upon reading this? Would they be jolt awake by the message that the NEA/MOH is trying to put across? Would they be so frightened and worried for their own health that they immediately put out that cigarette? This thought of mine is totally random and I just thought I would pen it down to deter any potential smoker friends that I might have HAHA. hopefully not

I love the weather now, pouring and windy since I am indoors at home. Obviously if I were outside I would be upset.

I wanna mug mug mug. MUGGER, MUGSTER. Okay I am partially going nuts, driven nuts by my guilt of not mugging as hard as I deem as a full-fledged mugger. I am studying hard, but not hard enough! EVIL STEVEY is a potenial barrier to my path of becoming a mugger! Eliminate stevey! Right, I am not thinking straight anymore. Got to go off to do daniels’ maths hw. I HATE COMPLEX NUMBERS TO THE MAX. And it’s partially daniel’s fault I am blogging now because I had to switch on the com to check his answers. EVIL COM. OK whisking myself off. To…… do more maths. WOW, this is how interesting my life is =.=

OH did I not mention, EVIL STEVEY is my TV.

9 more days to GP PRELIMS.